At the last minute I
decided to attend ‘In-expert 2018’ hosted by Steve Chapman (Can Scorpions
Smoke) and a team of co-collaborators who each wanted to explore and express
their own experience of ‘not knowing.’
In his opening words Steve
described the whole event as a social experiment and invited everyone present to
just notice what happens when some of the formal structure and social rules
around what we expect from individuals on a stage (at a conference) are removed.
As instead of a gathering of experts we were treated to a group of people
willing to share and be present to their own sense of in-expertise / inexpert and to be a
participant in the whole experience.
As the event started
to unfolded I noticed how one thing effortlessly flowed to another. An enabling
atmosphere as each individual made space for the other to do what they needed
to do. I was also intrigued by the creative space that emerged between
the audience and the speakers with multiple moments of unplanned
gesture and spontaneous response. These could have been real moments of unease
but the intention throughout was collaborative not competitive. I was also aware of the different feel of the place (an arts college) and the little but perfectly formed theatre that was also enabling the creative
energy to work its alchemy.
Together, but without
a lengthy discussion or formal contract we naturally created a safe place that
enabled the new, novel and innovative or just plain different to reveal itself. An emergence from the shadows that literally invited each generous speaker to stand
in their spot light. In this exploratory space I
experienced a real and uncensored celebration of self-expression in all its
messy and glorious forms. Each speaker who so openly shared their unique
experience of ‘not-knowing’ helped me to remember and feel OK that life is not
a series of straight lines but actually meanders and detours. It is here as I linger on my own sense of not knowing how this piece will be received that I touch
upon the undercurrent of a human desire to be our authentic self. To be
accepted as such. Expressing a need to be seen and accepted as an individual whilst also being part
of a collective fabric took root and became my connecting thread throughout the whole ‘In-expert 2018’ experiment.
Yet this thread was incredibly subtle in its form and this leads
me to wonder what would happen if we could learn to embrace the subtlety of the
form and let go of our built in need to know? Would we learn to see in-between
and beyond the other and in doing so change the whole field of perception? What is actually possible for us? Untangling our self-imposed limitations and truly making
contact with one another. Maybe it is the perspective of ‘not knowing’ that
enables us to stay open and just notice our experience without judgement or
concern. As ‘In-expert 2018’ demonstrated the act of breaking the rules can
then be embraced with a genuine curiosity and good humour.
As I walked back to the station through the hustle and bustle of
London, I noticed the mass of people busy getting on with their
lives. I wondered if each one had their own hidden awareness of ‘not knowing.' In that moment
I was struck by how I had just taken part in a beautiful experience of what is
possible when we feel safe in the presence of another (in this case an audience
of 100), to let down our guard and just be with what is. In so many ways the
whole experience was a gift and I thank you all for that.
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